so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
