im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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