so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
The Olympian is in my bed
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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