And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
