Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
