i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
