It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
