the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Randomize
