Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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