Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
