Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
