Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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