it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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