she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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