You're completely useless in the revolution.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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