guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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