Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
