where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
