So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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