if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Let's paint friendship bongs
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
