I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
