it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
