dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
