I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
