I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
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