i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
