I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
