yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
