and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
