No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Randomize