oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
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