You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
