The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize
