I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
