Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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