he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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