she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Randomize
