Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
