Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize
