He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Randomize
