so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
