Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
We are all done wearing pants today
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
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