I feel great
I just peed on a car
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
