Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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