I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Randomize
