Pappa wants mamma naked
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize
