So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
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