i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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