is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
