I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
