This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
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